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I chose survival when I went to Narconon.

randi-drug-rehab-graduate-2The holidays were always a very difficult time of the year for me.  A few years ago, I lost my best friend on Thanksgiving Day due to a heroin overdose and almost immediately after he passed, I tried heroin for the first time.  I had plans to marry him and I had no idea how to handle my devastation.


For years prior to that event, I had been struggling with self-esteem issues and had met many doctors and therapists who diagnosed me with depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphic disorder.  Most of the time they insisted the main cause of these disorders was a chemical imbalance in my brain, though I was never give a scan and no proof was ever provided of a “chemical imbalance”.


I was fed many prescription medications and spent a lot of time in counseling and once I became a heroin addict, I was also doing 12-step almost every day.  None of these things that were supposed to help me ever did.  In fact, I progressively felt worse about myself and about my life.


Initially I felt as though drugs helped me feel and handle life better, but eventually I grew to realize it was only making everything so much worse.  I decided the only solution was to put an end to it all.  Exactly one year, one month, one week ago I woke up to the day I was going to commit suicide.  I had everything planned out and set up and I had no doubt in my mind it was the only way to put myself out of my misery.  The moment it would have been the final one, my mom popped into my head.  I saw my best friend’s mom bury her 21-year old son and as badly as I wanted to follow through with it I couldn’t make my mother go through what my best friend’s mom did and bury her baby girl.  I stopped myself, broke down to my mom and begged for help-REAL help.  She found Narconon.


I got through my withdrawal drug free and to my surprise, quite quickly and painlessly.  I moved on from there to sauna detox, a program set up to rid my body of all drugs and other toxic impurities.  This process not only did that but it also gave me my energy and vitality back again.  With the toxins removed and no longer affecting my mind, I found I had a tremendous emotional boost and mental clarity.  I spent the rest of my program obtaining new skills and gaining new abilities to handle life.  This gave me self-control, integrity, purpose, an ethical code, confidence and a completely new outlook on myself and my life.  I arrived at Narconon in pieces engulfed in despair and I left whole and at peace.


Today I am celebrating the holidays sober and sincerely happy.  I wake up every morning with drive; I spend every day being productive and I go to sleep every night with fulfillment.  Had it not been for Narconon, I would be dead and my loved ones would be attempting to get through the holidays without me right now.  My life is based on my decisions — it always has been and it always will be.  I chose death when I used drugs.  I chose survival when I went to Narconon.  I am so proud to say that I am a Narconon Graduate and I am a survivor.

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