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STUDENT GREATEST DESIRED VANISHED - NARCONON HELPS SENIOR STUDENT LOSE DESIRE FOR SELF DESTRUCTION...

Gary, a senior student at the Narconon Florida facility located in Clearwater, Florida had only one purpose in life, self-destruction as his last effort to stop himself from further hurting loved ones, his responsibility level shared a simple view point “I don’t care”. Such attitude of “solitude” and total disconnection from the real world is commonplace amongst heavy drug users, making it that much harder for them to find the only path that providers the only road out.

To most, the help is achieved when undergoing family intervention, or when introduced to our centers by someone who knew about the Narconon program.
Garry asked us to publish his letter with a new greater desire, to help save someone’s life.

Here is Gary's letter;

“We live in a day and age that is far too accepting of things. Violence walks side-by-side with harmony; while pain and heartbreak are on a double-date with love and affection. The fact of the matter is that most of us walk around blind-folded, completely oblivious and naive to the world around us and its negative influences. Even when these influences are spotted more than half of us ignore it, especially when it comes to drugs. People make justifications and excuses saying that “it’s none of their business”. But when does it become your business? When it takes over your sister, your husband, wife, your children...You?

"It needs to be confronted before that. The power of drugs is incredible, but not unbeatable. We need to take back our community and push out the negative influences of drugs. Drugs are not invincible opponents but I can promise you that the battle will be long and hard. I know all about it, I’ve been swallowed by the deepest darkest depths of the drug world. I continue to dig myself deeper into my own grave and I learned quickly that it doesn’t stop after six feet. I kept falling and there was no one there to catch me. There was no such thing as rock bottom; it just got gradually worse over and over again. I was laying face down in the mud with no one there to help me because I had pushed them all away.

"Life becomes dark and meaningless when no one is around so I sat and withered in my own self afflicted disease of addiction. There was no truth in anything and reality no longer existed. This was no way to live and I would not wish it upon no one. Drugs destroy lives and massacre relationships.

"It’s our job as decent human-beings to repair these lives and relationships by helping these people out of despair. We need to destroy these negative influences as soon as they are revealed. No more turning the other way, pretending it’s not your problem because it will become your problem eventually one way or another. It is time to confront this drug issue face-to-face and not back down; it’s time to win this battle.”
- G.M.

WITH THE HOPES THAT IT MAY DETER...

“I started using drugs at the age of 12. It started off with marijuana and alcohol, but the problem got a lot worse when I soon discovered heroin at the age of 15. At first, I’d use heroin only occasionally, and during this time, I remember it being a somewhat fun experience. Compared to the life-long tragedies that would follow this brief moment of fun, I soon found out that I had slipped into a hole in which I would spend the next 15 years of my life trying to climb out of.

“Sometimes, I tell myself that if I know what I do today then maybe I wouldn’t of even started using heroin in the first place. This may and may not be true, but I do honestly believe that if I were more educated on the subject of heroin use, I would have had a much greater chance of never getting physically dependent on the substance that would end up causing so much pain and suffering to my then not known future.

“Prior to trying heroin for the first time, I had no idea that it caused a physical dependency when taken on a regular basis. I did know that heroin was addicting, but I had always had thought that it was something like a mental addiction in which only weak-minded people couldn’t deal with. It didn’t take long before realizing that what I had believed about heroin initially was completely false. Not having heroin after becoming physically dependent brought upon severe physical pain that was extremely painful and unpleasant. I’ve heard cancer patients compare heroin withdrawal to some of extremely discomforting cancer treatments that they had received. I’ve also heard others say that it feels like the worst flu that you had ever had. Since, I’ve never had cancer, I can’t comment on the similarities of cancer therapy versus heroin withdrawal, yet I can tell you for a fact that it is certainly much worse than the worst flu you can even imagine. I remember nights where heroin withdrawal would cause me not to sleep, intense vomiting, sweating one moment then freezing the next, and just general pain that made me feel as if life was no longer worth living.

“If you can now get a general idea of how miserable this may be, just know that this is just one of the many outcomes of heroin addiction. Besides making you feel completely horrible when trying to come off, you have to factor in the many other life destroying properties associated with its use. Since physical dependency requires more heroin in order to not experience withdrawal, an addicted person will go to any length to avoid the physical pain that heroin withdrawal creates.

“On two different occasions, I went to prison, because I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that I would not experience heroin withdrawal. I couldn’t face the pain of heroin withdrawal, so I figured that breaking the law was a good solution to avoid the pain. Breaking the law to get a quick fix equated to me spending a total of six years behind bars. Looking back at this now, I realize that what I had done was completely insane.

“If anything, I am writing this story with the hopes that it may deter even one individual from not trying heroin in the first place. It may or may not, but if I were to read this prior to even trying heroin for the first time, I would hope that I may have listened.”
- B.G.

GLAD I DID NOT REACH FINAL DESTINATION…PERDITION

“My story can be sympathized by those who may have a child, a close friend, or even just from seeing a stranger suffering from addiction, but for those of you who have experienced the domino effects of this destructive drug epidemic, this story may sound a bit familiar to you.

“I had no intentions of getting off the drugs my mind was so! Fogged and distorted that I reasoned to believe I was functioning and a productive member of society. In my head I justified my actions by keeping a Job, going to college, staying in communication with friends and a boyfriend. I could have sworn no one even suspected I was on drugs.

“Truth of the matter was who I considered to be my friends were those who did drugs, were prescribed drugs or sold drugs including my boyfriend at the time, and yes I passed my classes. However ask me today to apply what I learned my response would be “I don’t really remember the details of the course”.

“At work, the customers enjoyed my bubbly personality. Little did they know it was all an act, they never got to see the monster I’d turn into when I didn’t have a bundle of heroin, xanax, oxy 80’s, or roxy m30’s. Eventually my boss confronted me about using in my work bathroom. He was highly empathetic and suggested that I go to detox promising to hold my position until I got better. He too was a prisoner to pain killers, but to his “defense” he was prescribed them.

“ Just to throw into retrospect of how very distorted my mind was I actually thought that I could erase 6 years of using with a 5-7 day blind methadone detox. I was rudely awakened the minute I stepped foot outside of that hospital. I could not hold a conversation, I was extremely emotional, and I was anxious for two weeks. I thought by then the side effects would pass like most people who had been through detox said they would, but they didn’t. I stopped eating, completely isolated, and I didn’t sleep. I was losing it I had no sense of reality; all I wanted to do was feel what I thought was “normal”, so I started to use again. A few days after relapsing I joined a methadone clinic. As much as I tried fooling myself and my Father, the one person who always stood in my corner the sad truth was I didn’t want to stop getting high. The agony, anxiety, and all the nights of losing sleep my Father and Grandparents went through.

“Looking back on the situation today was if not worse just as bad as what I was going through, it just goes to show how self-centered and unaware of the world around me I was. I left a beautiful home to live in a motel room with a woman who was smoking crack, and when she would become paranoid she would kick me out. On those nights I would walk a few doors down to sleep in a prostitute’s bed, of course when she had “clients” I slept in my car. I called my Mother in Florida and told her to please speak to my Aunt about me sleeping over for just a few nights by then my immune system had shut down on me. That’s when I ended up in the hospital my other Aunt came to pick me up and bought me a plane ticket to Florida under one condition that I accept whatever treatment my Mother found for me.

“My Mother contacted Novus medical detox center out of desperation. I stashed all of my pills and after almost a day of an intake specialist trying to get through to me I finally packed my bags and went. They medically detoxed me for 12 days, and recommended that I continue my treatment at Narconon Florida this was my turning point. I had finally made a firm decision to take the time to allow myself to rehabilitate with no limitations and no stops. My Father told me something that stuck with me he said “At the end of the day look in the mirror, and see who looks back, it’s YOU. You can choose to be your own executioner or you can choose to be a survivor”.

So calculate the cost of the drugs and alcohol? And then calculate how much your life is worth? I guarantee you can’t get a number, because it’s priceless.”
- K.N.

"When I started the program, I had a lot of negative emotions all the time. I also tired easily. As the sauna progressed, I began to feel better physically. I slept better, woke up better, had more energy throughout the day. Emotionally it was a roller coaster, I think I went through every emotion possible in the sauna. I learned that each emotion passes with time and it always gets better. I learned how to relax naturally and enjoy everyday activities . Now I can take a look at my past and decipher what caused me to do what I did. Today, I feel more emotionally stable. I also have a more positive outlook on my future. My thoughts are more clear and sharp."
- I.S.

"OMG!!! This Narconon Program has truly changed my life, the way I feel, the way I think is truly amazing. I’ve always wanted to feel what happiness felt like; but until I came to Narconon Florida, I didn’t know how to get there. I am going to be applying what I have learned in all the course work to my everyday’s for the rest of my life. I feel that all the staff members here truly care and want us to succeed in living a drug free life and that they will go above and beyond the call of duty if that is truly what you want. There is a reason why you need to follow the rules and go through the course work no matter how stupid you feel what the courses are asking you to do.

I am now living a drug free life along with being as health, happy, moral, ethical person. I will be forever grateful to Narconon Florida and the staff that has helped me get where I am today."
- DM

"Within a month I am a completely new human being. I have no drug cravings, sleep 8 hrs a night (like a baby) and have more energy and clarity of mind than I ever imagined possible. The most important win that I received from this program is the relief of so much joint and back pain. The areas that were throbbing and burning are just the opposite. The muscle spasms in my neck are so much better. I realize now that these were all accumulated toxins that I’ve sweat out in the sauna. “ The Box (sauna) that Rocks”. Thank you Narconon."
- Ellan

"When I arrived here Feb. 20th, 2008, I was confused, angry, hung-over and uncertain to what I was getting involved with. From day 1, everyone was very patient and understanding with my many problems & helped me with supportive suggestions. When I entered the sauna, it was very surreal and it took a few days of sobering up actually see & understand clearly what was going on. The sauna eventually became relaxing as my body became acclimated & flushed of toxins. After 31 days in the sauna I finished with a new, healthy outlook on life & ready to learn more. The next step in recovery was to become reacquainted with the many ethics, dynamics & positive attitudes needed to maintain a happier lifestyle. By persistently & patiently working through the many lessons of the program, I feel a new confidence and have the momentum & support to keep on the right path and carry on a healthy, prosperous future."
- Ivan H.

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